Have you ever asked yourself why you are friends with someone? Ever wonder what it is about this person that you want to keep around and not just drop?
I have asked myself that several times about a few of my friends. So Let Me Tell You why you keep dealing with these individuals, so you can stop asking yourself those questions.
I struggle with letting go of certain people and ending friendships. Many times, I have asked myself why, and even stopped talking to said individuals only to find myself to repeating the cycle.
It is draining.
Reliving memorable moments that you have shared with this person could be a reason you struggle with letting go. Reflecting on moments of partying, thotting, and having fun together. Remembering that time when they had your back in a difficult situation. You revisit those memories and you want to create more with that individual, because actual good friends are hard to find.
As we get older we realize that making new friends is not easy. You have formed strong bonds with people who already understand you. These are usually the friends that you do not see as much. There is that coworker that you befriend, but you only go out to happy hour together. That friendship mainly stays in the workplace, however. When you realize that you can count the number of friends you have with one hand, cutting one off means your small list becomes smaller, so you put up with the friend you want to drop.
If you decide that you will keep this “friend” around, but want to change how the relationship functions to discontinue the cycle, here are two options to prevent you from repeating the cycle in your relationships.
One way is to take some time and separate yourself from that person. Giving them time to focus on themselves is what I call it. Keep conversation to a minimum. This worked for me because I do not allow things with this person to upset me anymore. You are simply not phased by their ill behavior anymore. In a way you stopped caring.
The other way you can keep this person around is by considering them a good time girl. A good time girl is just that to you, a good time. This is the friend that you just party and get your life with. You no longer share secrets with them, and your personal business is never discussed. This is typically that friend who tried to use personal information against you. You might consider referring to this friend as an associate. An associate is someone who you are getting to know. You typically refer to someone as an associate in the beginning of a friendship, but we are applying it here to rebuild a friendship. In the future, you may grow into more with them, but for now you just focus on the turn up.
A good friend is hard to find, but a friend with bad intentions shouldn’t be kept around.
So is this person a friend or foe?